Monday, 18 February 2008

Love Quote for the Week and Why You Should Pay Someone a Compliment Today

The love quote for this week is from The Dalai Lama,

"When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace."

Upon reading this quote it reminded me of the following story…

You don't expect tears when you compliment someone on their beauty but that's what nearly happened recently. I was chatting to a colour therapist at a health and beauty exhibition when I felt someone approach from behind. I turned, saw a woman and thought "what a beautiful woman" and smiled. After a moment's hesitation I thought I'd share my thoughts with her.

Sometimes, when you compliment a person unexpectedly, they are taken aback, even wary at times. However, when they see that there is no hidden agenda and that the sentiment is genuine they are usually pleased. So I turned back to her and said,

"I was just thinking to myself "what a beautiful woman"."

"Thank you," she said but I sensed she was unsettled - close to tears. I didn't think it was what I said so I waited quietly hoping she would say more. She continued:

"I was drawn to this stand by the lovely colours. I needed something to cheer me up. I visited another stand where a woman said to me - "Lovely face! Shame about the bags under your eyes." Then she glued my under-eye area to reduce the appearance of the bags but it felt so uncomfortable that I had to wash it off."

I knew the exact stand she had visited. It was one promoting permanent makeup - for example the sort of permanent eye makeup it is rumoured that Michael Jackson has. I recalled giving it a wide berth when I went past it and then I couldn't resist, I scrutinised the woman's face more closely.

She did have bags under her eyes! Yet, when I saw her I simply saw a beautiful, elegantly dressed woman. The bags were a part of her makeup and added to her unique personality.

I remembered seeing a documentary about Audrey Hepburn. During her later years, a magazine wanted to airbrush her image. Audrey gave strict orders that her face was not to be touched.

"I've earned every one of those wrinkles," she said.

Airbrushing is applied so liberally these days and sometimes rather than enhance the appearance of the person it robs their face of all character. I also recall seeing an image of Brad Pitt, an actor whose rugged good looks are part of his universal appeal, but one magazine thought it necessary to give him a makeover. I thought it was of the most unflattering images I've ever seen of the handsome actor.

It's ironic that we live in the age of "moving pictures" - cinematography - but that the faces of many of the actors in movies are becoming more and more immobile thanks to plastic surgery and botox. I'm not completely against either but I do think that some individuals are going a little overboard with these procedures.

But back to the point of this story - it's so easy to hurt someone's feelings with a throwaway remark so choose your words carefully even when being honest. By the same token, it's easy to make someone feel better about themselves and it doesn't cost a penny. If their outer beauty is not obvious, look for their inner beauty.

So not only feel love and kindness towards others. Openly express your feelings.

Pay someone a compliment today and everyday - everyone wins! You will not only make someone else feel better about themselves; you will feel good too.

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