Today when everyone is focusing on love I've decided to write about its opposite. No, not hate but FEAR for when we are out of love we live in fear and as George Addair said"Everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear."
This means that in order to achieve what you want in life you have to learn how to overcome fear time and time again. Stephen Pierce, in a recent post on DTAlpha Talkback, described a situation where army men were placed in a position where they had to give a talk on a topic they knew nothing about to an audience that was also unfamiliar.
These were tough army guys who faced the prospect of violent death, maybe their own even, on a regular basis. Yet, these guys reacted just like multitudes of other people when faced with the dreaded prospect of public speaking.
Their heart rate shot up, blood pressure increased, their mouth went dry, etc. Sounds familiar? You see this was a cleverly disguised test to see how these guys would react under pressure. It's one thing to experience fear but how would they react to it. Would they let their fear overcome them or would they overcome it?
Some were completely debilitated by their irrational fear. After all, the only thing that was likely to get hurt in this particular exercise was their pride. Others seized the adrenalin rush that accompanied their fear and used it as a source of motivation. Who do you think would make the most useful soldiers?
"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again."
Abraham Maslow
You too can use this experiment to help you overcome your fears. You don't have to use the example of public speaking. Think back to a time when you were fearful of something and you found a way to deal with your fear and rapidly overcome it. Relive the experience in your mind. Sharpen the intensity of the details - not the fear itself but that moment when you found the courage to step outside of your fear.
What did you see, hear and feel at that time? Amplify those sensations and then apply them to a current experience that you are procrastinating over because of fear and feel a surge in your self-confidence.
1. How many times have you been afraid of something that you later discovered really wasn't that fearful after all?
2. How many times have you lamented over not taking action because of your fear?
3. How much is your fear costing you today?
4. How much has your fear cost you over the past five years?
5. If you continue to let fear overcome you, how much will it cost you over the next five years?
In answering these questions consider the physical, mental, emotional and financial impact.
I'm sure that you will rapidly come to the conclusion that fear is simply too costly. Fear is one thing you definitely cannot afford.
So how do you overcome fear and that ensuing procrastination? Easy. When you place more importance on your destination rather than the place where you currently reside you will embark upon your journey. You will discover the courage to step outside of your comfort zone.
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
You may fear surgery but if surgery is the only option presented to you as a chance to save your life, chances are you'll undergo surgery. You may be fearful of losing your life to save another but if your value judgment is such that saving a life is worth sacrificing your own you would risk your life to save theirs.
Let's lighten up. It doesn't have to a life and death situation. You may be fearful of taking dancing lessons because you perceive yourself as having no rhythm or co-ordination. But, if it creates the opportunity for you to meet and make some great new friendships, so what if you look clumsy on the dance floor?
You have to discover what fires you up, what drives you, what inspires you. When you identify these things you can use them as fuel to blast through fear and propel you around, over or through any obstacles that might stand in the way of your achieving your goals and your dreams.
"When you face your fear, most of the time you will discover that it was not really such a big threat after all. We all need some form of deeply rooted, powerful motivation - it empowers us to overcome obstacles so we can live our dreams."
Les Brown
And the key to unlocking what fires you up, what drives you and what inspires you is to discover what you truly love. See I couldn't resist talking about love after all. For, on the other side of fear, when you distil everything down to its purest essence, everything you've ever wanted is LOVE.
fear overcoming fear love goals dreams
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